An Ode to The Original Used Diaper Salespeople
While reading about past adventures of the Used Diaper Salesman, you may have wondered, "Who does this guy think he is, some parenting expert? And where did he get such a cracked sense of humor?" The...
View ArticleWriter's Block(s)
I haven't been writing long enough to experience it, but I've heard that most writers are plagued by the dreaded "writer's block" at one point or another. It's said that any of a number of things can...
View ArticleSomething That Makes Me Jealous
Angry, that is. I meant angry. Jealous is the word Ellie uses in place of angry. So when she sees me with an exasperated look on my face because Brady has just sprinted through the room at the speed of...
View ArticleThe Great Indoors
Last week, I was minding my own business, working at cleaning up dinner dishes, when I heard a massive booming noise coming from the living room. It sounded like a brontosaurus jumping on a trampoline...
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An Interview with a Four-Year-Old
You all know my oldest son Brady by now. He's four (and a half, better not forget that) and loving life. You've heard about his extensive knowledge regarding female anatomy, his future career as a...
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Not Much to Say? Do a Photo Montage!
I know I promised you an interview with Ellie in follow-up to last week's interview with Brady, but I'm sorry to say I'm going to have to break that promise. I had planned to sit down with Ellie last...
View ArticleThe Many Hats We Wear
Like most guys I know, I have a collection of a few hats that I love to wear, usually on Saturdays when I need to hide my messy hair. I have a sweet Minnesota Twins baseball cap, with which I could...
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An Interview with a Two-Year-Old
Ever notice how hard it is to get your kids to stay in one place for any period of time? It's like trying to get a squirrel with ADD to sit still. It's not their fault. They're simply trying to process...
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Chocolate Chip Awesomeness
Mother's Day. The day we celebrate moms everywhere who make the world a better place with nothing more or less than the immense power of chocolate chip cookies.I'm celebrating two wonder women, my wife...
View ArticleStuff You Hope Your Kids Don't Say Or Do In Public
We spend a lot of time explaining to our kids that just because we have a word or action in our repertoire, it's not always appropriate to use outside of our house. That's our rule. Potty words and...
View ArticleDiaper Rash, Volume 1: Shameful Shaming
A good friend of mine suggested to me that if I ever have a gripe about something and choose to share it here, I should call it "Diaper Rash". I thought this was a brilliant idea, so I'm gonna go with...
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An Interview with a One-Year-Old
Most of you have seen the transcripts of my recent interviews with Brady and Ellie; if you haven't seen them yet, you can check them out here and here. They're refreshingly sweet and funny, and...
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Back In The Saddle
Yeah, I know, it's been a while. Please excuse my absence. I took some time recently to attend the International Conference of Used Diaper Salespeople (very politically correct; we're not all salesMEN...
View ArticleThe Budding Sports Star?
Last night we went to Brady's soccer game, and I have to say that, in my opinion, there's nothing quite as fun as watching a bunch of five-year-old boys and girls run around and kick each other in the...
View ArticleThe Way You Look Tonight
Ol' Blue Eyes. The Chairman of the Board. The Voice. Frank Sinatra was known by all these names and more. He was arguably the greatest crooner ever, with a career that spanned parts of seven decades....
View ArticleShowdown
The dusty street was silent and still. Even the tumbleweeds stayed away.How the Sam Hill did it come to this? A little smile played across his face, remembering how his pa always used to tell him...
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The "P" Word
That's "P" for "patience", by the way, and I put that right up front in order to nip any vulgar speculation in the bud. For those of you who were looking for something salacious, I'll say it again:...
View ArticleAmerican Idle
If you're like me, you can recite (or sing, if you're brave) the theme songs to shows like Spongebob Squarepants, The Wonder Pets, and Bubble Guppies on command. You can do it in your sleep, and...
View ArticleExplaining the Unexplainable
Some things defy explanation.Take Pringles potato crisps, for example. Does anyone know why it is indeed the case that once you pop, you truly can't stop? Is their ad slogan really just that effective?...
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Courageous Parenting
We here at the Used Diaper Salesman have a slogan that pretty much sums up the miraculous conundrum that is parenting: It ain't for the faint of heart.Most of us are in for a rude awakening once our...
View ArticleYou Know You're a Parent of a Toddler...
...if you've ever polished off an entire pot of coffee and felt no less tired....if you can recite any children's book beginning to end without looking at the book....if your beer money has now become...
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Brady and the Excellent, Awesome, Super Great, Very Cool Day
Brady is the kind of kid who really thrives on one-on-one attention. Almost anytime we're hanging out at home, he'll usually ask, "Daddy do you want to play with me?" The answer, of course, is "Yes!",...
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In Which I Forget My Own Birthday
In true sleep-deprived parent fashion, it appears I've forgotten my own birthday. Not my personal birthday, although that gets more tempting every year, but that of the Used Diaper Salesman. The...
View ArticlePriorititis
My wife and I had an argument last night. Okay, not an argument per se, more of a very lively and engaged discussion. There were a number of things we hadn't been able to address for a while due to...
View ArticleCold Sweats, Drill Bits, and Other Tales of Romance.
Little-known Valentine's Day facts:-Most historians believe that St. Valentine was never a patron of lovers.-The first reference to Valentine's Day as a tradition was found in the fictional context of...
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